


dick the birthday boy

by rhysgore



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Gaping, Double Anal Penetration, Established Relationship, Face-Fucking, M/M, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Size Kink, Threesome - M/M/M, mostly written as a joke but like... not a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 13:22:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9659291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhysgore/pseuds/rhysgore
Summary: “Gabe,” he had said, grabbing his very patient husband by the shoulders. “I’m serious. If I can still sit down by the time you’re finished with me, I’m probably gonna have a midlife crisis."-alternatively, jack gets fucked harder than the overwatch lore, featuring not!gabriel





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [dick the birthday boy By PuddleSong 操哭寿星公！](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11419530) by [batcat229](https://archiveofourown.org/users/batcat229/pseuds/batcat229)



> [mccree voice] someone had to do it. seemed fitting it'd be me
> 
> also jsyk the other title i was considering while i was writing this was "les gabriels terrible" but that joke's too bad even for me.

When it came to birthday presents, Jack was a pretty easy man to please. For the most part.

 

For his 40th, he had only three wishes. The first, a chocolate cake (“And please, for the love of god, Gabe, don’t get a mix. I’ll know.”), took only an hour or two to put together. The second, a specific, vintage, 2000’s era Captain America comic, was a little expensive, but not hard to find, and Gabe managed to ask, beg, intimidate, and cajole all of his and Jack’s mutual friends into chipping in.

 

The third, to be dicked so hard that he passed out, was one that Jack thankfully didn’t elect to share with anyone but Gabriel.

 

“Gabe,” he had said, grabbing his very patient husband by the shoulders. “I’m serious. If I can still sit down by the time you’re finished with me, I’m probably gonna have a midlife crisis. I don’t care if you have to do something weird in order to manage it, but please.”

 

“You mean you aren’t already having a midlife crisis?” Gabe teased him. Jack frowned, and he held up his hands. “Jack, have I disappointed you yet?”

 

“Well-”

 

“As far as sex goes?”

 

“... Well-”

 

“Okay, okay.” Gabe sighed, raising his hands. “I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry.”

 

-

 

The party was perfect, or as perfect as a birthday party could be expected to be with the limited budgets and resources of a military base. The celebration itself was pretty small, only a few of Jack’s close friends attending, but it was better that way. Less crowded, and more cake to go around.

 

Jack loved the comic too, eyes lighting up when he carefully pulled off the wrapping paper. It was a little odd to see a man of forty, a war veteran and military commander, get so excited over something so small and odd, but the look on his face could have lit up the room.

 

“Thank you,” Jack said, carefully putting the book off to the side so it wouldn’t get damaged. “I love you all. You’re great.”

 

Around forty-five minutes later, after cake had been finished and the party had moved onto its “coffee and socialization” phase, Jack found himself being pulled aside by Gabriel, who leaned in to whisper in his ear:

 

“Your rooms. Ten minutes. Got another surprise for you.”

 

The words, coupled with the subtle cupping of his backside, made arousal hum through Jack’s body. His face flushed, and he couldn’t manage anything for the moment but a nervous laugh, giddy with anticipation for whatever the hell Gabriel had planned. In a moment, Gabriel was gone, leaving Jack with a promise and a half-chub.

 

The next ten minutes passed with agonizing slowness. Jack loved his friends, very much, but all he could think of was the “surprise” planned for him. He struggled to sit comfortably, ignoring how Ana stared at him as he fidgeted in his chair, citing having stretched poorly that morning as a way to shrug off the question about it. When it was time, he said a very hasty goodbye, and practically bolted out of the room, losing all semblance of subtlety as he scurried away.

 

Jesse stared after him, frowning. “He’s gonna get laid, ain’t he.”

 

Ana sighed. “And they  _ still _ think they’re fooling us.”

 

-

 

When Jack entered his rooms, Gabe was sitting at his desk, waiting for him. Briefly glancing at him, Jack walked past, heading towards the bathroom that was off of his bedroom. 

 

“Hey, just give me a second to clean up, alright?” He said, opening the doors to his bedroom to find… Gabriel.

 

Sitting on his bed.

 

Huh.

 

Frowning, Jack closed the bedroom door, looking back to his desk. There was definitely a person there, and it was definitely Gabriel. He opened the bedroom door back up, frowning at the  _ other _ man who was unmistakably Gabriel.

 

“Huh,” he said out loud, even tone of voice belying the fact that his brain was short-circuiting. “Um.”

 

The Gabriel in his living room snorted, then started laughing, and that’s when Jack knew something was wrong. That wasn’t Gabe’s laugh- it was higher pitched, less even. Which meant the man sitting at his desk, despite looking and being dressed  _ exactly  _ like his husband, wasn’t him.

 

Jack was still struggling to put his thoughts into words, brow crinkling and mouth opening and closing like a fish. The Gabriel on his bed chuckled softly, standing up and sliding over to Jack, putting hands on his waist. The pressure confirmed that Jack wasn’t in some sort of bizarre dream, at least.

 

“I think we broke him,” he said, settling his chin on Jack’s shoulder, kissing his neck. “Hey. Happy birthday.”

 

“Gabe, do you have a twin?” Jack managed to get out. “Or a clone?” Not-Gabe’s laugh sounded behind him again, and Jack felt another pair of hands rest on his side, heavy, firm, and warm. “Have you been giving people your DNA?” The two pairs of hands were wandering up and down his sides, caressing his flank gently, and Jack felt himself blushing again.

 

“It’s nice to meet you, Commander,” Not-Gabe said. His voice was like his laugh- higher and less smooth than Gabe’s, but still pleasant. Friendly. “Informally, at least.” He stroked over Jack’s hip with his thumb.

 

“This is Nathaniel,” Gabriel said conversationally as he hooked his fingers into Jack’s belt, working at the buckle. “One of yours. We had a little chat the other day, about this problem I’ve been having. It’s a personal one, not an official but he still offered to help me with it.”

 

Jack shuddered as Nathaniel pressed up against him. The hot weight of his erection was apparent even through a pair of sweatpants and jeans, and it felt  _ substantial.  _ “And what problem would that be?”

 

“Commander Reyes told me his husband was absolutely  _ insatiable,”  _ Nathaniel murmured. “And that he happened to have a thing for strong, handsome men with amazing facial hair.” His beard, nearly identical to Gabriel’s, tickled Jack’s neck as he bit down where it met Jack’s shoulder. “And that his birthday was coming up, too. Who was I to say no?”

 

Gabriel had managed to work off his belt, and made quick work of Jack’s pants, pulling them to the floor in one swift motion. He quirked an eyebrow at Jack’s cock, already stiff and swollen, bobbing in the open air.

 

“No underwear?” He asked.  _ Really, Jack?  _

 

“I didn’t want anything getting in you and Nathaniel’s way,” Jack said, not irritated in the slightest with the accusatory tone, not with twin hands stroking his cock and squeezing his bare ass. Gabriel’s were a little smoother than Nathaniel’s, the calluses in different places- most soldiers used assault rifles rather than his patented shotguns. He moaned, squirming, but no matter which way he moved, he couldn’t escape their touch.

 

“You can call me Nate if you want, Commander.” Slipping his thumb between Jack’s cheeks, Nate rubbed at his hole, teasing him gently. Gabriel was hard at work unbuttoning his shirt, getting distracted along the way by the swell of Jack’s pecs.

 

Jack laughed, the sound cutting off to a hiss as Gabe licked the pink pad of his left nipple. He’d always been sensitive there, and Gabe knew it. “And y-you can call me Jack. No need to be s-so… so-  _ oh-” _ He moaned as Gabriel bit and sucked at his soft tits, practically melting back against Nate, whose fingers were working at the head of his dick with vigor.  _ “Formal.”  _ He shrugged his shirt off the rest of the way, leaving him bare before the two of them.

 

Shaking them off, Jack turned around to face Nathaniel. Up close, it was much clearer that he wasn’t an exact replica of Gabe. His face was a little more angular, skin a little darker, and his figure was a little thinner- he wasn’t a chemically enhanced super-soldier, after all. He was still gorgeous, though. And Jack was horny.

 

He dropped to his knees, relishing the quiet sound that Nathaniel let out as he did. Regardless of how prepared he was for this, no doubt the thought that his CO was willing to give him a blowjob was a little surprising. Jack grinned up at him wickedly as he pulled down Nate’s sweatpants, nuzzling at his cock through his boxers before pulling those down as well.

 

“See something you like?”

 

Oh  _ god _ yes. Jack’s mouth watered as he took in the massive cock in front of him, thick and curved and dripping. He shuffled forwards on his knees and took the head into his mouth, just getting a taste at first. 

 

“Do you want to know a secret about the Commander?” The hand that wound itself in Jack’s hair was unmistakably Gabriel’s, carding through his hair. “He has no gag reflex. None.” He laughed as Jack slurped messily Nathaniel’s cock. It was only halfway in his mouth, and the head was already hitting the back of his mouth. “It’s like he was  _ built _ for sucking dick. Go on, try it out.” He clapped Nathaniel on the shoulder, winking. “Jackie likes being treated rough.”

 

At Gabriel’s encouragement, Nate placed his hands on the back of Jack’s head and pushed him all the way down. Jack felt the intruding organ slide down his throat, making it difficult to breathe, but true to Gabe’s word, he didn’t gag. He stared up at Nathaniel, swallowing around his cock, eyes prickling with tears as he was held there.

 

“Holy shit,” Nathaniel said. “You’re a lucky man, Reyes.”

 

“Feels good, doesn’t it? Uh, but you should probably let him breathe.” Hurriedly, Nathaniel loosened his grip on Jack’s head, and Jack slid off his cock. Drool leaked from his mouth, tears streaked his face, and he coughed, rubbing at his throat.

 

“Sorry, Jack.” Rather than say anything, Jack plunged forwards, wrapping his lips again Nathaniel’s cock again, bobbing up and down on it, taking it as deep as he possibly could in between sucking at the head and licking his way up and down the shaft. Nathaniel groaned, unable to prevent his hips from twitching as Jack worked at him. “Oh  _ fuck-” _

 

“You mind sharing?” There was a slide of fabric as Gabe took off his own pants, presenting his own cock to Jack for attention. Jack rolled his eyes, but dutifully split his attention between the two men, using mouth and hands alike to pleasure them both.

 

He took a moment to catalogue what was similar and different between their dicks as well. Gabe’s was a little bigger- Jack wasn’t sure if that was natural, or a result of his enhancements. He’d had a prodigious amount of experience sucking super soldier cock in his life, though- enough that neither of them were particularly a challenge.

 

Gabriel must have picked up on that, because after a minute, he got an absolutely wicked look on his face.

 

“Stay still for a second, Jack…” Jack, mouth full of Nathaniel’s cock at the moment, slowed to a stop as Gabe hooked a finger into his mouth, pulling his lips open. For a moment, Jack was confused as to what exactly he was doing, but the question was swiftly answered when Gabe pushed into his mouth alongside Nathaniel.

 

There was barely enough room for both of them. Jack’s cheeks swelled up, skin stretching as he tried to accommodate the two cocks. His eyes were watering up again, and he could barely move- instead, he allowed them to piston their hips, using his mouth until his jaw was sore.

 

As much as Jack loved sucking cock, he was becoming more interested in the possibility of getting fucked by the second. With a little bit of effort, he pulled off of their cock, leaning back and taking a few deep breaths.

 

“Do I have to do all the work around here?” He asked. God, he sounded  _ wrecked.  _ “It  _ is _ my birthday, after all.”

 

Gabe snorted. “Fine. I guess it’s not fair that we get to have  _ all  _ the fun.” He held a hand out, helping Jack to his feet. “Go lay on the bed.” He walked towards the bathroom, no doubt going to fetch lube. The bottle in their bedside drawer was almost empty, and also cherry-flavored- one of them was going to have to get more soon.

 

Jack wobbled almost comically forwards, toppling onto the mattress. His own dick, largely ignored up until this point, was making its need known, but he resisted the urge to touch it. He wanted this to last as long as possible.

 

Sitting on the bed beside him, Nathaniel reached his hand out to Jack’s stomach, then retracted it, looking unsure.

 

“Is it alright if I…” 

 

“You’ve had your dick in my mouth, Nate. No need to be shy.” Jack settled back and let Nathaniel stroke his stomach, hands moving reverently over the muscles there. The touch was soft, soothing even, until his hands moved up to Jack’s pecs. “Ah-”

 

“Reyes told me you were sensitive here,” Nathaniel said, smirking. He looked almost  _ identical _ to Gabe with that expression on his face, and for a second, Jack was almost tempted to ask again if he was some sort of clone. Then Nathaniel pinched a nipple between his thumb and forefinger, and Jack completely lost that train of thought.

 

“D-did he, now?” His tits were practically being massaged now, warm hands squeezing and groping him until he was moaning, eyes sliding shut. “Oh, god- don’t stop-”

 

“Having fun, Jackie?” Another weight slid onto the bed beside him.

 

Jack laughed, half glaring, half smirking at Gabriel. “You’re a bastard, you know that, right?”

 

“A bastard who’s very, very good at pleasing his husband.” Somewhere between the bathroom and the bed, Gabe had shed his trademark hoodie and beanie, and his dark curls shook as he positioned Jack’s lower body, spreading his legs. Wet fingers probed at his hole, two entering him at once, scissoring him open.

 

Both of them relaxed into a pattern of playing with him. Nathaniel’s hands dug into his pectoral muscles, teased his nipples until his chest was tingling, and Gabe worked him loose. He was as good as putty in their hands, but god, he loved it.

 

“You mind giving me a hand down here? No pun intended, but Jackie’s gonna need more work if he’s gonna take us both.”  _ Take us both.  _ The words made Jack shiver, already anticipating what it would be like to feel that stuffed. He and Gabriel got up to a lot of stuff in the bedroom, but it had been so long since he’d done anything like this.

 

Nathaniel scooted downwards, abandoning Jack’s chest in favor of sticking two of his own fingers up Jack’s ass. Both men had such big hands, the combined girth of the two of them was almost like having a cock inside of him already, and the fact that there was going to be  _ more  _ soon enough made Jack salivate.

 

“Hurry up,” he grumbled. “Want you inside me already. I can take it.”

 

“We’re not  _ trying  _ to hurt you,” Nate said, more than a little taken aback.

 

“Be patient for once, Jack,” Gabriel grumbled right back at him. “It would be a shitty birthday if you had to spend it in the medbay.”

 

“What a great way to die, though.” Jack’s dreamy sigh got a chuckle out of both men as he laid back, letting them pump their fingers in and out. The stretch, the feeling of being between two big, warm bodies, the occasional teasing of his prostate (Gabe was ignoring it deliberately. Bastard.)- on another day, it would be perfectly satisfying to just have them finger him until he was a mess.

 

Today, though, Jack wanted it hard.

 

_ “Gabriel,” _ he said, voice edged with insistence, low and breathy as he canted his hips forwards.  _ “Please.” _

 

He knew he’d hit the mark when the on his leg tightened, nails digging into the skin of his calf. In a second, fingers were sliding out of him, and Gabriel was directing Nate where to go. Gabe himself sat on the edge of the bed, patting his leg to coax Jack onto his lap. With a noise not unlike a purr, Jack crawled over, straddling Gabe’s massive thighs.

 

His husband pulled him in for a brief kiss. “Hope you like your present,” he murmured. 

 

Despite being completely naked and about to fuck two men at once,  _ that _ was what made Jack blush.

 

Two pairs of hands landed on his hips, spreading apart his ass cheeks and slowly lowering him onto Gabriel’s waiting cock. Jack moaned as it entered him, relishing the feeling of finally having something truly substantial inside of him. His first instinct was to move, to grind down and chase that feeling, but both of them held him in place.

 

“Easy there, Commander. You want me too, don’t you?” Nathaniel stood behind him, holding his waist steady.

 

Jack let out a shuddering laugh as fingers stretched his hole further apart, making space for something else. “I thought I t-told you, you can call me Ja- _ aaah,”  _ his words were cut off with a cry as Nathaniel slid inside of him, hard cock taking its place besides Gabriel’s. “Oh- oh  _ fuck.” _

 

“That enough dick for you, Jackie?” Jack couldn’t even answer him. His eyes rolled up, tongue lolling out, and his knees felt like jelly. He probably would’ve collapsed if it weren’t for their hands keeping him steady. God, his entire body felt so hot, practically burning where there was skin-to-skin contact.

 

“Is he alright?” There was genuine concern in Nathaniel’s voice.

 

“Mmmh,” Jack groaned. “So good.” Gabriel shifted slightly, jostling inside of him, and  _ fuck,  _ that felt even better. “Move.”

 

“Yeah. He’s fine.” Gabe patted Jack’s flank lightly, watching the way he shivered with barely concealed lust. “C’mon, let’s show the birthday boy a good time.”

 

Trapped between the two of them, Jack was almost immobile as they fucked in and out, rhythms alternating so he was always stuffed with cock. Everything about the feeling was overwhelming, from the stretch, to the way one of their cocks (in his haze, Jack couldn’t honestly tell whose) kept rubbing over his prostate, to the sounds of sex, flesh against flesh and Gabe murmuring breathless dirty talk into his ear. Jack could only parse every other word, and only understand about half of those, but it didn’t really matter.

 

“Christ, Jackie, you look so gorgeous like this, spread out on both our dicks. This is what you wanted, right? You’re not even gonna be able to  _ stand  _ when we’re done with you,” he hissed out, breath coming in sharp gasps.

 

Jack himself could barely speak properly, communicating mostly in moans, and slurred demands for them to fuck him harder. Gabe obliged right away, bucking up into his body and leaving fingernail marks on his hips. Nathaniel seemed a little hesitant at first, but once he got over worrying whether or not Jack’s body could take it, he fucked him with a roughness that Jack found himself  _ craving,  _ hips slamming into Jack’s hard enough that his ass would probably be sore and aching tomorrow.

 

“You know,” Nathaniel said, “I always- always assumed the Commander was one of those real vanilla types. Guess looks can be deceiving.” Gabe huffed out a laugh.

 

“You don’t know the half of it,” he muttered. 

 

It was all too much for Jack- the heat, the feeling of bodies on him and behind him and inside him, the edge of pain from being handled so roughly.

 

“G-gabe-”

 

“You gonna come?” Jack nodded, head drooping forwards, forehead pressing against Gabe’s chest, an anchor. “Alright. C’mon, pretty boy, come for me.”

 

_ For me. _

 

A crooked smile slid across Jack’s face before he felt his body go rigid, eyes rolling back as pleasure wracked his body, flowing through him in waves. He cried out as he came, loud and unashamed, spilling between Gabe and his stomachs.

 

“Oh god- oh god, oh  _ god-” _ Jack was babbling, near sobbing as they continued to pound into his now over-sensitive body, milking every last drop of cum out.

 

“We’re gonna fill you up real good, now,” Gabe said, voice strained, cracking with effort. “That’s what you want, right? That cute ass all sloppy with our cum?”

 

“Mmm, yes.” Jack nodded, clenching down as hard as he could. “Please, Gabe,  _ fuck.” _

 

Something- the motions of his body or the sound of his voice- did the trick, and moments later, Jack felt Gabe shudder underneath him, growling as he came. His fingernails dug into Jack’s sides, leaving long, stinging red scores. Nathaniel followed shortly afterwards, dumping another load inside of Jack with an enthusiastic moan, hips stuttering to a stop.

 

The three of them laid there for a minute, trying to catch their respective breaths. Jack was perfectly happy just letting them stay inside of him, but both other men were rapidly softening, and he could feel them slipping out slowly but surely. Expediting the process, Gabriel gave him a soft shove, sending him sprawling on the bed next to them.

 

“Ugh,” Jack groaned, relaxing on his stomach, starfishing on the mattress. A pleasant soreness was setting into his body alongside the soft, boneless feeling, and he didn’t want to move. Even if he’d wanted to, he didn’t honestly know if he’d be able to.

 

After a moment, he felt Gabriel’s hands on his ass again, spreading his cheeks apart. Gabe let out a low whistle.

 

“You’re so loose back here, Jackie.” The tone of his voice was almost reverent as he wiggled two fingers into Jack’s gaping, dripping hole. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen you this open.”

 

“Hmmgh,” was Jack’s only response. He couldn’t muster up the energy to form a complete sentence, or even individual words. He’d been fucked so hard it felt like his brains had been scrambled, which meant that Gabe had definitely followed through on his promise. And now, he wanted nothing more than to sleep for the next 12 hours.

 

Before he lost consciousness, he felt lips pressed to his temple, the fuzz of Gabriel’s beard scratching him pleasantly.

 

“Happy birthday, Jack,” he murmured, and Jack managed a sleepy smile before he passed out completely.

**Author's Note:**

> jack had his midlife crisis at like 20, who are we kidding.
> 
> [tumblr](rhysgore.tumblr.com) | [twitter](twitter.com/maverickminuano)


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